Nick Lafayette § Crowley

Nice sign.



Actually, no. No he doesn't. Hell is more than happy to watch y'all enjoy it.

This is a lovely time of year to be in America. Everyone is hot and irritable and blowing things up to celebrate freedom or something enough like it that no one asks many questions. I always wonder if they know that it was originally supposed to "Life, liberty, and the pursuit of property." I suspect they do, greedy things.

I did my good deed for the day too. I pair of young men was walking out of a fireworks tent, discussing they're "battle plan" and lamenting that the smoke bombs they'd purchased weren't real bombs. It's so nice when you can give someone their wish. Do keep an eye on the news, I think this one should be fun.

I'm trying to make plans for the sixth, but I must admit to being stumped now. How exactly does one mark a 252nd birthday? I was thinking orgies and arson, but it just feels like it's been done so many times before.

Suggestions anyone? We can make it a contest, the best one gets to join in the fun. Although if the suggestion is particularly good, the prize could also be being exempted from the consequences.

( Remy )

( Michelle )

This weekend has been far too boring. I think I'm going to go hang out with Gadhafi, he looks like he could use a "friend".

( Miri )

Nothing warms a bad demon's heart quite like a Christmas shopper riot. There were so many big sales and frustrated suburban housewives out today, and the curiousest thing happened. Turns out they were down to the last one of everything! Funny how that works.  Oh how they shrieked. Press on nails and oversized purses really can do some damage. It's really shocking how many of those blue-vested pimply minimum wage monkeys ended up with bloody noses. You just can't trust people to behave civilly in public anymore, can you? Looks like a lot of kids won't be getting what they wanted for Christmas. Unless everyone goes out shopping again tomorrow. I'm sure it won't be even busier and people won't be even more desperate.  Such a shame...

The news says that Halloween is officially the second biggest holiday in the United States, just behind Christmas, based on consumer spending. This is why I've always liked America: God may still be winning, but Satan's running a close second.

( Miri )

( Remy Abrams )

The cold medicine of the destroyer. If this doesn't make your problems worse, I don't know what will.

I do love that companies not only take my advice, but pay me for it. This is easily the best job I've had in decades. Still, it's been a slow week. Other than the 666 launch and some consulting work for Fox News, I've nearly run out of things to do.

Perhaps it's time to play some games.

The internet really is a wonderful thing. You can find anything out there. You can also search for anything out there. It's adorable, all the people searching the web for spells, or curses, or summoning incantations. Every now and then I post one that works. Just for the hell of it--which is the usual result.

I think I've lost my taste for science and technology. It was far more fun in the days when it was indistinguishable from magic, instead of indistinguishable from '60s movies. Smashing particles together in a way that might create a black hole and destroy the world is all well and good, but if you don't actually destroy the world, really, you're just toying with us.

So-called scientists are so boring these days. I miss Tesla.

Laughter is the best medicine.

It is, however, a very bad legal defense.

Keep that in mind, people.

You're welcome.

I should be a lawyer.

You know what I love? Neighborhood associations. Little groups of officious people looking for ways to waste their time, feed their egos and make other people miserable. I love them so much, I've decided to join one. At the moment we're all very concerned about this clinic opening up in the neighborhood. How are we supposed to know that it will fit in with our covenants? What if they begin treating crack addicts and sex workers? Or poor people! God forbid... what if they don't follow the standards of our design review board? No, this cannot stand. We've contacted our city council and county commissioners. I'm assured they will apply the necessary red tape to the problem.

It was a beautiful day to hit the beach. The water was full of oily iridescent rainbows and little balls of tar washed up on the shore like treasures. It was just me and that hippie kid in white with the tarnished crown. Wish I could take credit for it, but you people are the ones who created him. Mortals never cease to amaze me.

I wonder if BP needs help with their ad campaigns?

So many old friends are crawling out of their holes (or coming down from their clouds perhaps), I feel like I should take it upon myself to reintroduce myself to the community. I think I still recognize a few of you, not nearly enough though. For those who haven't had the pleasure, all me to introduce myself: Nicolas Lafayette. Please, just call me Nick though. I'm the reincarnate of Crowley, should any of you be familiar with his work. I'm currently making my home in New Orleans, which is everything I could ask for. Anyone looking for a good time should come on down. The water's a bit oily, but the drinks are still cold.

( An Angel who did not so much Fall as Saunter Vaguely Downwards. )